Here is what we do about candy and junk food:

There is a cookie jar filled with all sorts of individually wrapped candy on the kitchen counter. Everyone can help themselves to a single piece anytime once they have had a piece of fruit/vegetable (fruit and veg in the fridge) or a glass of water. (Note - not at bedtime)
This works well for all of us, although I will admit it took a while to convince the 3 year old. :)
Here is my thinking - you can only eat so much this way before you are full! Damage control and best of all - I am not the cookie/candy police anymore!


We have a cupboard filled with breakfast foods and snacks that I can live with and they feed themselves from there all morning. Lunch and dinner are more organised and they help to cook them. Then they only have to have 1 bite of anything new (and try it again every few months) and completely eat whatever else they help themselves to. If I serve it - they don't have to finish it.

Here is my thinking on this - breakfast is because I am not a morning person and you don't want to wake me up to make food - trust me!
Lunch and supper - the shopping, prep and cooking are great learning opportunities and we love food so it is fun.
The serving thing - I figure since I cannot know how hungry you are, if I serve it you do not have to eat it all. I want them to learn to eat until they are satisfied, listening to their own bodies.

However, if they take it, then they must eat it all. They can always have seconds. I don't care for waste and they learn to take appropriate amounts this way and to listen to their bodies more carefully.


For the rest, I would agree with the post about the kids needing to fit into the world they are in and not infringe on other peoples pleasure in a wanton fashion. Respect for all creatures (including your environment, yourself, your child and your audience) at all times. Here they learn the fine art of compromise and negotiation.

Basically, it boils down to something like - if it annoys me - you cannot do it around me! :) Likewise I will respect your preferences and keep my singing in the shower!

I feel that the tantrum and running around the restaurant thing is inappropriate. We are supposed to be preparing them for the world - imagine if you tried that on at your office tomorrow!

We are facilitating and guiding our children and can help them avoid some hideous consequences by teaching them what you believe to be the important social and spiritual rules by which we live.

You wouldn't allow your child to discover the laws of physics by running into the road, likewise you would guide them about social behaviour and stuff like honesty and integrity. They really don't need to reinvent every wheel! I do my best to stick to logical and reasonable consequences for every behaviour - good and bad.

That is what works for us.

Whoever said it takes trust to unschool was spot on! It certainly does. Trust comes with practice too - so keep on going! You can do it!

Besides there is no rule that says you have to only do one kind of "schooling" - mix and match until you find what works for you and your cherubs! Ignore anyone who tells you differently!

Have a choice-filled day!
:)
Karen